I will live!

I allow my smile to widen as I enter the Center of My Garden. “Good morning Lord, My Captain!” He smiles and as he whispers his love to me he pulls me in and holds me. And my entire being begins to let go and rest. The tension is melting and all cares fall away. I just need his presence. I receive his love. Then I sing.

“Lord I come with a need, I ask for truth, wisdom, and your mind on the matter. I place it at your feet. “Leave it there, my love. I understand. Trust me. I am working.” “Yes Lord. Shall we do some fresh planting today Lord?” “Yes, let’s! And let’s enjoy the day the Father has given us and smile a lot today.” Yes Lord!”

Matthew 5:14,16 14You are the light of the world, A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 16 “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

I realize why it was so hard to admit, it felt like I was abandoning others, and if they need to be let go, it felt as if I was abandoning myself. It didn’t feel safe, but it is! What will happen if I let go? I will live! In the quest to be free of the narcissistic system, I found a couple of my “closest” relationships needed some new boundaries. This has been a process. They began well, not perfect. At first I thought it was only immaturity and they needed healing in their lives. I found proximity doesn’t mean I should trust and that the closeness was manipulation and not mutual love. Sometimes those we love and care for need to be allowed to make their choices and be let go of. The freedom of choice is key for all. How hard it can be to let go. Sometimes things start good and become sour. Pretending becomes the enemy. I must see. I will trust. I have and am letting go. The change that is taking place while in the midst of it, is one of those lessons that isn’t fun, but producing in me what the Master Gardner knows he needs for and from me. And again I say: “I am not confused, I just need His help!” As I let go, I will fly! And they can, if they choose to. It is abandoning the cycle that keeps all tied to everything but destiny and true life.