Butterfly Vuela

Tag: god

  • I am not that Person!

    I am not that Person!

    Today, I am going to first share my time with the Master Gardener and then I decided to come write, I hope both encourage and inspire you!

    “Lord, I love you!” “And I love you!” “Lord I have looked beside me and back, just long enough to admit my failure. Now I hand it to you. Now Lord, help me keep my hands free, for today and the road ahead. I know you will multiply! What is on our agenda today?” I pray for the peace of Jerusalem! “Let us inspect the garden and we will enjoy the growth. Keep your eyes on me, I will provide and guide you. You need only follow.” “Yes Lord, and Lord, I forgive myself first and then them!” He smiles.

    One of the key things I have experienced with narcissistic abuse, is silencing. It is learned and many are trained in it. I found after being a child and learning it, it is easy to become an adult that protects the wrong people or protects the wrong systems. I am no longer interested in being silenced or remaining silent. Those who want to use the info to further abuse will eventually fall flat and they will find the info they need somewhere else. I don’t want to sugar coat situations to pad my emotions either. I learned to do this, and I would share my faults instead. That is ok in measure, but it will not help anyone else and I can’t keep pretending things will just get better. They get better as I deal in the truth. Now I am in a season where I can not just get away from my situation, but I can grow and heal and wait for God’s exit. It can be challenging to come out of it while those spirits are operating through hosts and in your midst, but this time, I believe the Lord has a plan and I am not going to get outside his process or timing. After a lifetime of tolerating toxic people I know there is a lot of work to be done in me. People can change, but they must not be enabled and they must change on their own. I just thought people were as caring and thought of others first, this can be true, but it hasn’t been. I have had times when the Lord let me out instantly from abusers, my life was on the line, but though I will leave as I can, it is not to be right away. I have to be courageous and grow. I realized today that I just couldn’t remain silent. People can change, but they must admit the way things are going isn’t working and each person must decide they want to live and not be controlled any longer by these entities that ensnare in a narcissistic system. I outed one or two people in my family before, but the problem actually became more of almost everyone, especially the heads, tolerating it. I am not that person. There is grace for never knowing anything else, but there comes a moment when enablers are just as harmful. I almost lost my life once, because of narcissistic abuse and added witchcraft, and I wouldn’t be here, but for a miracle and the Grace of God. I thought I knew what it was to love and be loved, but I have learned and am learning what Jesus’ love is actually like. I am learning to be jealous for Jesus and me and love others with healthy boundaries. Some I love, but I don’t believe the lies any more that they love me, they don’t know how to love and I forgive myself and them. It has taken an enormous amount of pain and failure over years for me to face the proximity of this abuse. It can be hard to tell yourself the truth, that they never loved you, you were only ever supply. But, Jesus didn’t make us to be supply for the enemy, we are worth a great price. So I must stop going along with the narrative. It is that painful, but simple. I have learned to stop saying I am confused and say I see clearly help me to not go back because of emotion.

  • All is not Lost!

    All is not Lost!

    I offer the Bitterness Lord to you, from my soul, my current situation, and my failings. I also place on the alter the joy you have given me, along with thanksgiving. I mix it together, a bitter and sweet sacrifice and I add praise to the mix. You are good! I release regret, guilt, and shame, to you. I receive instruction, clarity, and strength. I failed, I was trapped, and I am not going back. I am loved and I am accepted! I can love and guard my heart.

    2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. As I ask the Holy Spirit to help prepare me I heard the above scripture. I have put on my robe of humility and I am quieting my soul. I am turning from my wicked ways and seeking his face, that my land would be healed. It is the process that is important. I enter the Center of My Garden with the joy the Lord has given me and a smile. “Good morning Lord.” “Good morning, shall we enjoy the fragrance of the roses this morning?” “Yes Lord.” We walk over to the roses and stroll, he takes my hand. “Be strengthened, daughter, be encouraged. All is not lost, you have Me!” “Yes Lord, You are my great reward!” “I am!” “You are enough Lord! I let go the bitterness and lies! I can do all things because you strengthen me. I ask for that strength, courage, and wisdom to guard my heart from lies and the wiles of the devil.” He turns to me and smiles, “Granted!” And I know he will add more! We walk breathing in the fragrant flowers and I take time to be encouraged and strengthened, and to just be with him. I got up and came back and I am brought this scripture: Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.

    Psalm 36:5 Your Mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

  • I am Already in it!

    I am Already in it!

    5/30/26 “Good morning my Love!” “Good morning,” and he embraces me! “What a beautiful and bright day it is!” “Yes, it is new and fresh. Come with me,” he holds out his hand. It was a statement and a question. I take his hand, “Lord I am going with you! Will you transform my mind, my will, my emotions and my thoughts about myself, my life, and all you have called me to?” “Yes release it all, follow with me!” “Yes Lord!” I pray for the peace of Jerusalem and I also set in to pray.

    A day later, as I type this I had no idea of how much of a confirmation the day and night would take to showing me a new season was already here. Today my entire household has had to let go of the plans we made yesterday, our lives are not going in the direction we thought, it is very good. I knew by the evening that something wasn’t quit right and this morning I have been liberated from moving in a way that God is not in. I am grateful! I am rescued, and the freedom for my family has been established in greater measures! It is less about blame and more about seasons changing.

    5/31/26 I cut the ties this morning. I walked away. Yesterday I was aware that it is a new season and somethings can not go with me. Now for forward motion.

    “Good morning Lord, I love you!” As I entered the garden I asked the Holy Spirit to help prepare to meet with the Master Gardner. He helped me on with my robe of humility. I like this robe, it is very lite weight and pretty sheer. “Good morning my love! There is therefore no condemnation for those in me!” “Yes Lord.” “You are washed in my blood, you are filled with the Holy Spirit to over flow, and your life is sanctified and laid down!” “Thank you Lord, yes!” “Now let us enjoy the garden and do a “Light” work today.

    I guess I had to revisit old ideas in a new way and see that there is a letting go on a new level. The quicker I do it, the quicker I can enjoy the way forward. I am not looking for the new season, I am already in it. And I am, once again, grateful I am not alone, the Master Gardener is calling the shots!!!

    Psalm 112:6-7 Surely he will never be shaken; The righteous will be in everlasting remembrance. He will not be afraid of evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

  • oh His smile!/a New way.

    oh His smile!/a New way.

    5/17/26 “Good morning Lord, I love you!” “Good morning Krista,” he is smiling at me, oh His smile! “Are you Ready to live and thrive and move in me?” “Yes Lord, I am, help me make the adjustments in order to do this!” “I am, I will! The planting is completed this morning, let us enjoy the whole garden.” “Yes Lord! Lead me on!”

    I hear the Spirit saying: If My people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal there land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 Amen! And so I turn, we turn whole heartedly to you Jesus. We forsake all wicked ways. Heal our land, restore our families- bless our lives! Equip us to reach the children. Have your way in the United States of America and the whole World.

    On this national day of Rededication, I rededicate my life, my family, my country The United States of America to God/Jesus, and all our purposes!!! Will you join me?

    Yesterdays post:

    5/16/26 “Lord, good morning”- I burst into the Center of My Garden with a smile, “I am eager to work and be with you!” He embraces me, “Let us continue our work today Krista!” And this fills my heart to overflowing! “Yes Lord let’s continue! Speak/reveal the truth in love to me and supply my needs, show me the way in which to overcome the challenges.” And we head out hand in hand.

    Our conversation as we walk: “Lord I do not want to continue in the way they are going and I do not want to cater to them anymore. I choose to go alone with you a new way. I can do all things… Give me what I need to do this. Help me Jesus! I need help inside myself and from their schemes. I so forgive them, but I’ll not have it anymore. Will you help me? “Yes Krista,” he extends his hand to me, and I take it. “I will lead you out today, don’t be afraid, will you follow? “Yes Lord I am following!” “Keep your eyes on me and stay close.” “Yes Lord, help me!” “I am!”

    I hear the Spirit say: I am my beloveds and he is mine, his banner over me is love. Song of Solomon 2:4 He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.

  • Labor with Purpose and Determination!

    Labor with Purpose and Determination!

    “Good morning Lord- what a beautiful day in the Center of My Garden.” He is on the ground, trowel in hand and beads of water are falling onto the planting. He is laboring for me, teaching me, and the intensity of the light is causing beads to fall from his forehead. “Lord your labor is watering the seeds. Will you teach me how to partner with you in your labor with purpose and determination, but not striving and on my own?” “Yes, watch me and follow. Do as I do,” he smiles. “Thank you Lord for showing me that you care for me so tenderly and faithfully. How I need your love!” And with that I get down beside him to work! I begin to sing “What a mighty God we serve.”

    Something on my heart began yesterday. I was given such praise from the Lord and then I saw a scripture that seemed challenging and began to feel lacking, critical. I believe it is good to let scripture and truth pierce me and challenge me to grow, but I have been finding something else going on. It is comparison. Sometimes we are expecting things of ourselves and it is too much. God requires from us what we can do and have, yes he will challenge us at times to do more, but we can get overwhelmed with some things by expecting more than he is actually asking of us. It is something we do, listening and looking at what something looks like in another’s life, I am finding it is good to do what we can, but it wont be the same way always, in which others fulfill things. Now I am not talking about sin. God can be asking us to start small, in our eyes or others eyes, and often we can do something (acts of kindness etc.), but it looks different than the accepted normal way. I just want to challenge you to open up to seeing how the Lord has called you to fulfill his requests for you in your life. I am currently doing this. It can often begin in our own house or toward one person or situation. There are things that we overlook as well, we don’t deem them anything, but they are love and obedience and when we see the truth it makes it easier for us to let go of false expectations and continue on out of encouragement. I stopped to ask for how I am fulfilling the scripture and how I might continue too grow in it. And he showed me and I felt empowered instead of feeling unable like my feet hand been cut off beneath me. I pray for a revelation for you in this too that you might know the love and goodness of our God more fully!

  • This Garden Will Grow!

    This Garden Will Grow!

    5/2/2026 As I walk I sing “Oh the blood of Jesus…”. As I progress to the Center of My Garden I begin to breathe in the Lords presence. “Hear I am to worship you Lord, to honor and listen to you.” He smiles and places my head on his shoulder. “Rest Krista, I am here and I am working. Nothing will remain the same, continue to follow me and let go all! You will know what I am breathing on.” “Yes Lord! Keep me from distractions.”

    5/3/2026 “Good morning Lord!,” I smile. “Good morning daughter!” We have been working in the Garden already, we just came together in the Center to begin the days important tasks. “Let us walk through the garden today. I will show you what is going on and give you keener discernment.” “Thank you Lord!” “This is what I need!” And we begin to stroll.

    5/4/26 Prepare me Holy Spirit. I put on the garments of praise and a smile upon my face, from my heart and I enter the Center of my Garden , where the King awaits me. “I love you Lord!” “And I love you!” I begin to sing “El Shaddai…”. I am still in his presence. “What are we doing in the garden today Lord?” “We are working side by side. We will laugh and enjoy and you and this garden will grow!” “Yes Lord I agree!”

    I am grateful I did not get a chance to put out these posts separately. They have had a profound effect on me today, to see them written out one after another. I see the Master Gardener is working and I am following! “I trust you Lord and I submit to your leading!”

    Rev 2:11 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes shall not be hurt by the second death. How important this scripture is in this day and time. I needed it today!

  • Don’t Look for Comfort Alone!

    Don’t Look for Comfort Alone!

    I am preparing myself as I come into the Center of My Garden. I have asked the Holy Spirit to ready me. After all, I am meeting with the King and Master Gardener and I want to receive and fully be with him. I am putting on garments of praise, purity, and humility. I am adorning myself with quietness, trust, and the peace he has given me. And I put on a smile. “Good morning my Lord, I love you and how beautiful you are!” “Good morning my love!” We enjoy the fragrance of unity! “Purify my heart today Lord! Lord, I am concerned about betrayals and giving to the wrong people. I am desiring to face the truth, which is you, and see clearly with keener discerning of spirits and have proper boundaries. You have been speaking to me to treat people well regardless of what they do, for you see. I just don’t want to have improper ties, beliefs, or boundaries. I ask for wisdom with emotional stability and I let go!” “Thank you this is wisdom daughter. All will be well, keep following me and trusting my plan and process. Don’t look for comfort alone. I will lead, teach, and equip you to do all I need you to. Will you trust me?” “Oh yes Lord, only I need your help!” “You have it!” “Lead me in the work in my whole garden, let us make it the way that will invite your Glory more!” And we get to work!

    In the midst of a storm, in the middle of the night, I was reminded that the storm is not to be my main focus. Yes it is here, but my focus is on who is with me in the storm, Jesus. I got up singing “Dance like the weight has been lifted…” and believe me I did and continue to dance! My psalm today is 60, verses 4-5 stood out to me: You have given a banner to those who fear you, that it may be displayed because of the truth. Selah That Your beloved may be delivered, save with your right hand, and hear me. The next, verses 11-12: Give us help from trouble , for the help of man is useless. Through God we will do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies. What promises we have from God, what wonders he shows through our lives!

  • Break Out of the Cycles!

    Break Out of the Cycles!

    “Good morning Lord,” “Good morning Krista!” “Lord here I am to worship, here I am to be one with you! What is your plan today?” “Pray for the peace of Jerusalem!” “Yes Lord!” And I do. “Lord would you also pour out your Glory on me, my household, and the whole world?” “Yes, I will.” “Thank you!

    This morning I was brought back to a scripture and theme I began to talk about on 4/9/26. The scripture that stuck out to me today was 2 Kings 17:33: They feared the Lord, yet served their own gods-according to the rituals of the nations from among whom they were carried away. This scripture was speaking about the people that got brought to live where Israelites had been removed. The people were taught about God and how to serve him but they served the gods from their pasts and culture, though their gods did not do the wonders that made them have to learn how to serve the God of the Land they were moved into: The God of all creation. Today I was reminded that it can be tempting to not fully deal with and come out of idolatry. Sometimes we have grown up with traditions and familial things that need to be broken and left behind once we get the wisdom. If you look at previous chapters, the children of Israel had kings who, even if they were serving God, some did not, they didn’t serve him and him only. Today I am more determined to fully break out of the cycles and move into all that God has for me.

    On 4/9/26 I also wrote about a languishing plant in my garden. I have some more insight on that today. I am going to write here what I originally wrote that day, some of it may be redundant, but it is the way things are flowing today: Todays work entailed some new plants and a very important letting go of the languishing plant. I looked at it and realized there was nothing I could do. And so as 2 new plants that have merged have come, one has gone and I am ok with this. Not all our plans and efforts go the way we hoped, but the efforts and learning are never lost. It wasn’t easy to see this the other day or more fully today. I had to just let go! In this I realized I have had all the info I need for some other decisions I have needed to make. I have just been trained to let my emotions override discernment. Well, I am growing too! I learned to stay small, to settle for crumbs from others, but my pot has been too small and it is time for me to be uprooted and planted a fresh.

    This brings me to the scripture I was reading in Mark 4:1-12. It is the parable of the sower. The ground my languishing plant was planted in had become like small rocks and the roots had dried in with them. I needed to get rid of the soil and add new soil to the new plants.

    For the plants and my life, the soil of our hearts is very important. And for me I was shown a hidden area in the Center of My Garden where generations had hidden soil that was unusable. I am currently working with the Master Gardener to dig it up, and replace it, so I can plant new there just like the new plant I have from the two. I have to leave ways that are idolatrous, serving of an idolatrous system and containing. The Master Gardener has a free way to his planting and life. I will grow much better in his soil! And I too have become one with him.

  • Happy Yom Hashoah!

    Happy Yom Hashoah!

    Why is it happy…because Israel lives: Am Yisrael Chai! I love Israel and the Jewish people. My Father God taught me how precious they are. They are the apple of his eye. It is not only them that are precious, but as a first born among siblings, they have born the brunt of many things and they serve as a reminder of the faithfulness of God. When we see his care of Israel, we know he will care for us too! They are blessed and will always remain so. I wonder if you know the blessings they are each day. There is no other people like them, and may the body of Christ, the Church continue to grow up in maturity into sons and daughters of our same Heavenly Father. I pray for the peace of Israel of Jerusalem and our countries too!

    The Scripture that stands out to me today is Psalm 53:4-5 Have the workers of iniquity no knowledge, Who eat up my people as they eat bread, And do not call upon God? There they are in great fear where no fear was, For God has scattered the bones of him who encamps against you; you have put them to shame, because God has despised them. God puts the enemy against us to flight and the next verse 6 says: Oh, that the salvation of Israel would come out of Zion! When God brings back the captivity of His people, Let Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad. This verse speaks of what has happened and Israel is back from captivity, may we be brought out of our captivity too! There is a part we are waiting for still, for Jesus the Christ to return to Zion! That day will come and may Israel cry out for his return!

    In the Center of My Garden this morning with the Master Gardener: “Good morning Lord!,” I smile. “Good morning Krista!” “Lead me in the work in the Center of My Garden and the personal space and outer garden. It is Spring and new growth is here! Help me clean up and set in order a new, each area!” “Amen, daughter!,” he has a glimmer in his eye! “Let us enjoy the work today!” “Yes Lord!”

  • To Endure!

    To Endure!

    Sometimes we have to speak to our bodies or other aspects of our beings and say “Life” and remember what the Word says about us. Christ paid a heavy price for us to walk in wholeness. Of course we have circumstances that are contrary, but they serve to teach us and strengthen us. And I do know there are areas that the Lord will ask us to lay down for him and then we do that and move forward carrying our cross, not alone or in our own strength, but with a mighty Savior by our side.

    Today I have had to put my body and soul in its place. I have had to not give voice to its complaints or vices. It is ok to say there is a struggle, but then we need to speak life and take even tiny steps to move it along. I have had to stretch my body to work on circulation today. I wonder what it is for you. Along with this there has been a heaviness that has come in like our weather here. I will not allow it to remain unchallenged though. God is good and he sees us and he has not left us alone. We can cry out for help, wisdom and strength. It is interesting that in the struggle today I have used it humble myself. The stillness has opened my eyes to areas in my own heart that need some work and admitting. No pointing the finger today!

    All of this brings me to the scripture I was lead to this morning. I had finished my bible reading and I felt I was to go to James 4-5. I read both chapters and 5:11 really stood out to me: Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord-that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful. You can read Job 42 and verse 10 to find his restoration and it was great! God has good in mind for you and I as well. We just need the courage to stand and believe, to endure. I know it isn’t easy. It can be done! It must be done! I need you to surrender to Jesus and remain standing and you need me to do the same! We can have our feelings and falterings, but let us move past it all by the Holy Spirits empowering. He is here for you! I have had to work through so much today just to be able to come and write today. Each part of our being is import to care for. Courage friend to care for yourself today and love those around you! I love you!!