Butterfly Vuela

Category: Imagination

  • I am not that Person!

    I am not that Person!

    Today, I am going to first share my time with the Master Gardener and then I decided to come write, I hope both encourage and inspire you!

    “Lord, I love you!” “And I love you!” “Lord I have looked beside me and back, just long enough to admit my failure. Now I hand it to you. Now Lord, help me keep my hands free, for today and the road ahead. I know you will multiply! What is on our agenda today?” I pray for the peace of Jerusalem! “Let us inspect the garden and we will enjoy the growth. Keep your eyes on me, I will provide and guide you. You need only follow.” “Yes Lord, and Lord, I forgive myself first and then them!” He smiles.

    One of the key things I have experienced with narcissistic abuse, is silencing. It is learned and many are trained in it. I found after being a child and learning it, it is easy to become an adult that protects the wrong people or protects the wrong systems. I am no longer interested in being silenced or remaining silent. Those who want to use the info to further abuse will eventually fall flat and they will find the info they need somewhere else. I don’t want to sugar coat situations to pad my emotions either. I learned to do this, and I would share my faults instead. That is ok in measure, but it will not help anyone else and I can’t keep pretending things will just get better. They get better as I deal in the truth. Now I am in a season where I can not just get away from my situation, but I can grow and heal and wait for God’s exit. It can be challenging to come out of it while those spirits are operating through hosts and in your midst, but this time, I believe the Lord has a plan and I am not going to get outside his process or timing. After a lifetime of tolerating toxic people I know there is a lot of work to be done in me. People can change, but they must not be enabled and they must change on their own. I just thought people were as caring and thought of others first, this can be true, but it hasn’t been. I have had times when the Lord let me out instantly from abusers, my life was on the line, but though I will leave as I can, it is not to be right away. I have to be courageous and grow. I realized today that I just couldn’t remain silent. People can change, but they must admit the way things are going isn’t working and each person must decide they want to live and not be controlled any longer by these entities that ensnare in a narcissistic system. I outed one or two people in my family before, but the problem actually became more of almost everyone, especially the heads, tolerating it. I am not that person. There is grace for never knowing anything else, but there comes a moment when enablers are just as harmful. I almost lost my life once, because of narcissistic abuse and added witchcraft, and I wouldn’t be here, but for a miracle and the Grace of God. I thought I knew what it was to love and be loved, but I have learned and am learning what Jesus’ love is actually like. I am learning to be jealous for Jesus and me and love others with healthy boundaries. Some I love, but I don’t believe the lies any more that they love me, they don’t know how to love and I forgive myself and them. It has taken an enormous amount of pain and failure over years for me to face the proximity of this abuse. It can be hard to tell yourself the truth, that they never loved you, you were only ever supply. But, Jesus didn’t make us to be supply for the enemy, we are worth a great price. So I must stop going along with the narrative. It is that painful, but simple. I have learned to stop saying I am confused and say I see clearly help me to not go back because of emotion.

  • All is not Lost!

    All is not Lost!

    I offer the Bitterness Lord to you, from my soul, my current situation, and my failings. I also place on the alter the joy you have given me, along with thanksgiving. I mix it together, a bitter and sweet sacrifice and I add praise to the mix. You are good! I release regret, guilt, and shame, to you. I receive instruction, clarity, and strength. I failed, I was trapped, and I am not going back. I am loved and I am accepted! I can love and guard my heart.

    2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. As I ask the Holy Spirit to help prepare me I heard the above scripture. I have put on my robe of humility and I am quieting my soul. I am turning from my wicked ways and seeking his face, that my land would be healed. It is the process that is important. I enter the Center of My Garden with the joy the Lord has given me and a smile. “Good morning Lord.” “Good morning, shall we enjoy the fragrance of the roses this morning?” “Yes Lord.” We walk over to the roses and stroll, he takes my hand. “Be strengthened, daughter, be encouraged. All is not lost, you have Me!” “Yes Lord, You are my great reward!” “I am!” “You are enough Lord! I let go the bitterness and lies! I can do all things because you strengthen me. I ask for that strength, courage, and wisdom to guard my heart from lies and the wiles of the devil.” He turns to me and smiles, “Granted!” And I know he will add more! We walk breathing in the fragrant flowers and I take time to be encouraged and strengthened, and to just be with him. I got up and came back and I am brought this scripture: Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.

    Psalm 36:5 Your Mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

  • Don’t be Afraid to Follow!

    Don’t be Afraid to Follow!

    “Good morning Lord, I have my desires to work on some things, would you help me to prioritize what you have and need done?” “Yes, I have been here and working already this morning. Follow me!” “Yes Lord! Master, would you help me keep out that lying twisting leviathan and all pythons? Those snakes have been getting too close!” “Yes, I am teaching you!” “Thank you!” “Okay, let’s get to work and Krista, don’t be afraid to follow me!” “Yes Lord, “I take a step toward him. “Help me in my weakness.” He takes my hand! “I will!”

    Psalm 116:6 The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me.

  • He is My Champion!

    He is My Champion!

    “Holy Spirit prepare me, help me on with the robe of humility.” I take a moment and put on a smile and breathe in the Holy Spirit. “How precious you are to me Holy Spirit! Good morning Lord,” I have gathered flowers along the path. I hand them to him, they are blue and white. He smiles, “Good morning my Love!” I sing “Open up your heart and rejoice before him…” We pray for the peace of Jerusalem. We set to work planting and amending the soil. I pause to lean my head against his shoulder. I am grateful to be in the Center of My Garden working alongside the Master Gardener. He is my Champion! “Follow me today Krista, I will unhook you!” “Yes Lord, thank you!” He knows exactly what I need.

    Lord it wasn’t very long before I needed to return and show you how I need your unhooking you spoke of. Lead me in surrender to you in these areas. Lead me in your wisdom and truth. I come to you for help and counsel. And I re-give you my whole heart and life.

  • Yes Lord Let’s!

    Yes Lord Let’s!

    6/6/26 “Good morning Lord, I love you!” “Good morning. That is enough work for today, you need to rest. Let’s enjoy the garden and let laughter and joy overtake us.” I drop my tools and get up. “Yes Lord let’s!“

    Psalm 105:2 Sing unto Him, sing praises unto Him; proclaim all His wonderous works.

    6/7/26″Happy Sunday Jesus.” We both smile. “It is a happy Sunday isn’t it?” “Yes Lord, it is! Thank you for the stroll, the guidance and your love.” “You are welcome. Shall we move further into this day and all I have planned?” “Yes Lord, please.” And we do.

    Romans 12:11 do not be lazy in diligence, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord,

  • Chains Falling!

    Chains Falling!

    “Holy Spirit, would you prepare me.” He helps me on with that robe of humility. He also puts a white flower in my hair. I smile. “Thank you Holy Spirit for making me beautiful, for transforming me,” I bow. He speaks to me and I am speechless. I receive his love.

    “Good morning Lord!” “Good morning Krista.” I begin to pray. “Lead me, guide me, transform me. I repent and let go hands with fear, doubt, unbelief, and lack. I believe in You and in me. Would you cleanse me and continue your good work Lord. I ask for restoration and that full service breakthrough you spoke to me about many years ago.

    I hear: “Today if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as at Meribah, and as in the day of Massah in the wilderness, Psalm 95:7. I also hear: I hear the chains falling! Amen and may our chains fall indeed!!!

  • I Know, I See, I Am Here!

    I Know, I See, I Am Here!

    “Good morning Lord, I love you, I ask for the peace of Jerusalem.” “Granted daughter, I love you too,” he smiles. I gaze at him a while. “What are we doing today in the garden Lord?” “We are adding supports, bolstering things up, for there has been much growth, and we must be ready for the growth right head.” I get down beside the Master Gardener and work along side him.

    A good while later: I came to water my vertical garden and I paused to just be. I hear a small trickle that is turning into a slow drip, from the water that is draining. “Lord here I am again and I do not wish to continue the cycles. I do not want to waste my time trying to fix things, to make things work or just gel. I guess I was in so deep that I didn’t realize the level of the enemies deception. I want more from You and life. Will you help me step out to the side and move on?” “Yes Krista, Will you trust me and keep letting go?” “Yes, Lord.” “Pray.” “Yes Lord.” “See.” “Yes Lord.” “Believe Me!” “Yes Lord, Holy spirit help me!” “I am.” “Thank you I am desperate for You and You Alone!” “I know, I see, I am here. Let’s get back to work in the whole garden!” “Okay Lord, on it!” And what a joy to know I can keep working, and hand the struggle into the Master Gardeners hand!

    Joshua 1:7 Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you: do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.

  • Help Me!

    Help Me!

    “Good morning Lord!”, I smile. He embraces me and we whisper our “I love yous”. “Lord there is growth in my garden, would you help prioritize my time and all my resources. Help me not to go backwards. Help me with being still and lead by you. Help me in assisting others, but not rescuing.” “I am leading you, keep letting go, and ask Me for Truth!” “Yes Lord, will you give me the Truth?” “Yes, pray and let us continue in our work today,” and he turns back to the work he was doing. We have been at work from before sunrise today!

    1 Peter 2:25 For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

  • With a Smile!

    With a Smile!

    He greets me with a smile! “Hallelujah Lord, You are here and working. I praise You, I thank You. I worship You! Hallelujah! Bless the Lord, oh my soul…for He has done great things!” There is much joy in the Center of My Garden! The Master Gardener laughs with joy and I join in. “Lord You knew this day was coming. Thank you! For freedom has entered and overtaken my whole garden and that new season is showing!

    Psalm 40:1,2 I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps.

  • Fragrant White Lilies!

    Fragrant White Lilies!

    I prepare to enter the Center of My Garden. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me on with my robe of humility and gather a bunch of fragrant white lilies, to bring to the Lord.

    “Good morning my King,” I smile. I know he loves it when I smile. “Good morning my Love!” “Thank you for leading me, guiding me, providing for me and those you have given me. I release false unity and what you are not building. I wait for your restoration and in the waiting, I will build with you.” “Let us work today, I have some healing balm for your soul and body today,” “Thank you Lord.” He smiles and the balm is already at work!

    As the day has progressed I have had another application or two of that balm and I am healing and have been made more aware of the futility of carrying burdens that are not mine. I am so grateful for the breath!!!

    Jeremiah 31:3,4 The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Again I will build you and you shall be rebuilt, O virgin of Israel! You shall again be adorned with your tambourines, And shall go forth in the dances of those who rejoice.