The chaos in my life touches others. The chaos I allow affects me through others. There is grace for all! I first had some insight from my own life, and some things that have happened over a few months, then I had an opportunity to experience some chaos coming through another. I have always needed grace in my life and so I am so quick to dismiss things and just move on. The wisdom comes in knowing when it becomes enabling and is actually poor boundaries or goes over into codependency. It maybe easier to continue on in the same way, but wisdom is telling me to pause and pray. I need forgiveness and I will extend it too, but there comes a point when amends are never attempted and new boundaries are needed. If I don’t address it I will be holding others back and hurting myself. I may not be able to address it with the people, but I can work on where my treasure is located and my boundaries. So this is what I am praying on currently. The silent treatment, pouting, or staying mad would only perpetuate disfunction, but I know God has a better way for me to allow myself forgiveness in my life, forgive others, and keep boundaries. I think guilt, pain, and shame taught me to not stand for my boundaries. I have some more levels of codependency to overcome and a lot of letting go! So I shall start Now!
Sometimes others are not sorry, they may be sorry for themselves, this has been a hard one for me to see. I used to be easily manipulated and controlled. Well I have grown and will continue and I am learning to quickly reach beyond the bitterness and open my hands to the Lord. I have to ask wisdom and discernment to see more clearly the manipulation of the enemy, hold myself and others accountable, at least by boundaries and forgive all!
Cycles of prolonged disrupted rest and perpetual warfare can be an indicator that there are poor boundaries or a cycle that needs to end. Lord close the doors and teach us rest!
